Sleep struggles are frustrating, especially when you’ve tried everything the experts recommend.
After countless restless nights, I realized that some popular sleep tips just didn’t work for me. If you’ve been struggling to get quality rest, you might relate!
I remember the sinking feeling I would get every night the sun went down…
Despite the cozy covers, pitch black bedroom, fan on high speed, and quiet house, I was still left with waves of frustrations and defeat.
”Oh great…here comes another night I won’t get any sleep…”
Doomed from the start.
For months and months I had fallen into a cycle of poor sleep and the desperate attempts to try to sleep better at night. No matter what I did, I was awake at all hours while my husband slept like rock.
And, no, I wasn’t a new mom juggling a colicky newborn or someone working a crazy, unpredictable night shift schedule.
I was just a 30-something mama whose health and chronic stress led to burnout. I was stuck in “fight or flight” and my body was sending me signals that something was wrong.
These signals looked like 3 am wake ups, nightly trips to the bathroom, tossing and turning without the relief of finding *the* comfiest position, stiff muscles, and leg cramps. All of these symptoms were costing me an extremely precious resource = SLEEP!
Because, as you know, without good sleep, your body and mind can’t function properly.
Have you ever encountered a sleep-deprived mom or tired co-worker? One wrong move and they will SNAP! They are fried from exhaustion and their bodies are on edge like no other.
Yeah… not the most pleasant people to be around. And I was one of them.
I had to find a cure.
In my desperation to not be *that* person, I turned to social media to see what the influencers were doing to sleep better. They seem to have their lives figured out (according to their highlights) and I was willing to try anything to get some much needed shut eye.
I saved their reels, clicked the links, and followed all the gurus who seemed to claim the “secret sauce” for better sleep.
Alas, I wasn’t successful.
Because the biggest mistake I made was blindly following what everyone else was doing and not truly listening to my body or what it really needed.
Sure, these things are helpful, but until you understand you body’s unique physiology (aka how you live your day-to-day and how you respond to things), you won’t get very far, especially if you’re trying to improve your sleep.
So before you buy that random supplement or click that Amazon link in your favorite influencer’s Instagram bio, here are the 3 things that didn’t work for me (and the 3 things that did) so you can be sure that you’re taking the right steps for what your body needs for better sleep!
1. Magnesium Glycinate
Let’s start with the supplement that everyone talks about! Whenever someone says they can’t sleep, the immediate response is “You need magnesium!!!”
Magnesium is known for its calming effects on the body and magnesium glycinate, specifically, is one of the more bio available forms of magnesium which means it is better absorbed by the body and can improve sleep quality.
It’s also an important mineral we can’t get from our diets alone (our soil is too depleted and malnourished) so supplementing magnesium is a great way to get that much-needed mineral boost.
With all this hype, I immediately hopped on the magnesium bandwagon! It sounded like the answer to all of my prayers!
I thought I was going to sleep like a baby. Instead, I was left feeling jittery and stressed. The exact OPPOSITE of what I wanted.
Why It Didn’t Work for Me:
As I said earlier, everyone’s body is different. Magnesium is no exception. While it’s still an important mineral, if your body is not in a state that can properly absorb it, then it can do more harm than good.
I was already in an inflamed state due to chronic stress and poor diet and lifestyle, so my gut couldn’t absorb the magnesium properly.
You see, when you are low in minerals and out of balance, supplementing in isolation is only going to make things worse.
This is one of those “too much of a good thing” situations.
Magnesium needs to be balanced with other minerals like sodium and potassium in order to be transported properly. Dumping more magnesium in the tank by itself is just going to make those levels go haywire.
And because there are tons of different forms of magnesium out there, I wasn’t considering which type my body could handle best.
I still get my much-needed magnesium, but I found a way that works for my body’s needs (keep reading to find out what’s working!)
Again, what works for some people may not work for others.
Lesson learned.
2. Melatonin Gummies
Okay, can you blame me?
This one sounded like a no-brainer.
Melatonin is known as the ultimate “sleep vitamin”. Growing up, I remember seeing bottles of melatonin tucked away in our medicine cabinet. My parents used this stuff often and they ways seemed to sleep so deeply (I vividly remember the constant snoring from their bedroom lol).
The promise of these gummies is that they promote great sleep while being super easy and fun to take. I mean, who doesn’t love to eat gummies and pretend they are a kid on Halloween again?
What Actually Happened:
For the first three days, these melatonin gummies seemed to work! I felt more relaxed and started to sleep a little bit longer. I was optimistic, but Day 4 changed everything…
When I took my nightly gummies and laid down in the bed, I suddenly felt like I was rocking. Kinda like on ocean waves. Then I felt a small burst of energy and restlessness.
It wasn’t extremely uncomfortable, but it was definitely unsettling.
I didn’t feel like myself and that alone made me stop taking the melatonin gummies cold turkey.
I quickly discovered the dangers of supplementing with melatonin vs. letting your body make its own.
When you dose melatonin that doesn’t match your body chemistry, it can lead to unpleasant side effects like dizziness, restlessness, dry mouth, headaches, and drowsiness. (Not a fun list of symptoms, especially if you need to be alert the next day).
Supplementing melatonin can also mess up your circadian rhythm (aka when you wake up and when you get sleepy for bedtime).
So unless you just need a quick reset from jet lag after traveling across the country, stick with ways to support your own natural melatonin production and ditch the gummies (no matter how tasty they may be).
3. Bone Broth Hot Chocolate
There’s lots of information in the crunchy/holistic community about the joys and benefits of bone broth.
The nutrients in the bone broth paired with the calming effects of warm milk and chocolate make it sound like the perfect treat to unwind with at the end of a busy day.
Seriously, a warm mug of healthy bone broth hot chocolate is an easy way to get vital nutrients and protein while promoting better sleep in the process!
The downside?
If you are in an inflamed state (like myself), your body may not tolerate the high histamines found in bone broth. While I was getting good protein (and enjoying really delicious treat each night), I was still causing my system to overload with the stress of breaking down histamine.
This made it difficult to drift off to sleep each night. My body was still wide awake trying to calm the inflammation.
If your gut is weak and leaky, high histamine foods can trigger uncomfortable issues like poor sleep and 3 am wake ups. Other triggers include bloating, post nasal drip, and upset tummy… all of which I was beginning to experience the more I tried to enjoy my nightly hot chocolate ritual.
It was a tasty attempt, but an impractical one nonetheless.
What Finally Helped Me Sleep
I knew I needed to get to the bottom of my sleep issues, and I was tired of spending all my money on supplements and protocols that didn’t help my body’s unique needs.
I decided to invest in a functional medicine doctor and, after some blood labs and deep discussion of my entire health history (we went so far as to discuss my birth and childhood…talk about extensive) we determined that my hormones were out of whack, my gut was inflamed, and I needed more daily movement and sunshine.
With a medical professional on my side and a deeper understanding of what was going on inside my body, I finally had a clear direction on what to do to heal my gut, reduce my stress, and get better sleep in the process.
After some trial an error, here are the 3 things that have finally worked to improve my sleep quality and overall well-being:
1. Microionized Progesterone (aka Prometrium)
After years of being in a constant state of anxiety and “fight-or-flight”, my hormones took a beating.
I was excessively estrogen dominant and any progesterone I had in my system would quickly deplete. This imbalance led to heavy and irregular cycles and extreme inflammation throughout my body. No wonder I couldn’t sleep at all.
My body was screaming for balance and relief.
While it is possible to balance hormones without supplementing them, I needed the extra boost. By supplying my body with bio identical, microionized progesterone, I was able to give my system the hormones it needed to finally calm down and relax.
Within 2 weeks, I was sleeping longer and deeper! I wasn’t up at random hours of the night and actually felt cozy upon waking up the next day!
When progesterone becomes more balanced, it sends signals throughout the body to reduce stress and inflammation. This is especially important for those who struggle with gut health and can’t seem to get rid of food sensitivities.
Poor gut health + stress and inflammation = poor sleep
Balance the hormones = sleep like a baby!
I’m no math genius, but I like the results of that last equation!
(PS: If you decide to research progesterone and want to try it for yourself for better sleep, be sure to ask your doctor for microionized progesterone or Prometrium during your next visit.)
I take Prometrium in capsule form at night as it can cause drowsiness, but does not come with the terrible side effects of synthetic hormones.
Don’t settle for synthetic progesterone or birth control because these are fake hormones that could negatively impact your hormones and body for the long-term.)
For me, this was a far better option than settling for hormonal birth control; I did not want the unpleasant long-term side effects, nor did I want to screw up my hormones and cycles even more.
Prometrium is meant to work for you, not against you.
2. Sunlight
Did you know your bedtime routine starts the second you wake up?
Before reaching for a phone that blasts you with blue light, starting the day with the comforting red light rays of the morning sun is a far superior decision.
When I stopped checking my phone (a terrible habit we are all guilty of), I created time for myself to get sunshine in my bare eyes.
No contacts. No glasses. No windows.
Just 30 seconds – 1 minute of sunshine.
If you can squeeze in this little morning habit for yourself each day, you will soon get better sleep in less than a month!
Sunlight boosts natural melatonin production and establishes a solid circadian rhythm, both of which are key to great sleep.
I notice my days (and bedtime) feel better when I go outside and get some sunlight.
It’s as if we were designed that way! (Hint: God knows what He is doing!)
If you absolutely cannot get morning sunshine, you can at least reduce your blue light exposure by wearing blue light blocking glasses. This will create a buffer between you and the screens so your body isn’t taxed by those damaging blue lights.
Go outside. Get some sun.
Period.
3. Minerals
Remember when I said taking magnesium alone isn’t a good thing?
Well there is a way to still get that critical mineral without overdoing it.
By adding trace mineral drops to your water, you are not only hydrating your body and cells, but you are restoring your mineral levels so your body can begin to function optimally again.
Trace minerals include magnesium, but balance it out with other necessary minerals like salt, potassium, boron, chloride, and more!
Let nature do it’s thing and take minerals in a way that allows them to work synergistically (aka teamwork makes the dream work!)
I never go a day without minerals. I alternate between these drops and these capsules. Both are from quality sources with incredible customer service.
I also notice that I am peeing a lot less when adding them to my water. No more 3 am walks to the toilet!
True hydration and better sleep require proper mineralization. Don’t skip this crucial step!
Final Thoughts:
Not every sleep tip works for everyone, and sometimes, we need to experiment to find what truly helps.
I know people who chug bone broth and can sleep like a baby; I also know people who can’t take magnesium because it makes them energetic instead of sleepy.
Take time to figure out what your body needs. Take this post as an encouragement for what you can consider doing for your health journey.
If you’re struggling to sleep, don’t be discouraged! Keep trying, listen to your body, and don’t be afraid to break the “rules” if something just isn’t working for you.
What’s one thing you’ve tried for better sleep that didn’t work? Let me know in the comments!